Relationships often come with their fair share of challenges. Both big and small. The question was; how could I overcome these obstacles? And at the time when a new man came into my life?
In the background stood her red car. The full moon was glowing like a pink diamond in the night sky while he wildly chased her with an enormous bat. She tried to escape! She could not! There was already blood all over on the street after he had hit her several times in the head. It was a nightmare, not being able to run from the devious man. It was her man, her lover, her soulmate, that now cashed her during the murky night, only to kill her. No doubt, many relationships often come with challenges. In her’s, too.
Greetings, and welcome to today’s Author News 26 June 2021
My relationship with a narcissist was a wake-up call and full of challenges. I realised there actually were many evil people out there. The worst thing about the relationship with such a person was the fact that nobody would ever believe me. He only wanted to destroy me just because I was filled with love and light. It was like living with a Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde type.
How come, you might be thinking. Maybe you never have been in the claws of a psychopath, but I have! Furthermore, I found out a covert narcissist makes themselves out to be the kindest. Also appearing as the most sincere, and nicest person anyone can ever imagine. In fact, they are the biggest cowards you’ll ever have the misfortune of meeting. They’re utilizing passive aggression in the most covert ways, so you do not know that they are in conflict. You can read more about it in my books Burning Desire – 1 & Burning Desire Fades – 2, The psychopath and the Girl in Black Prada Shoes.
How it is to live with a covert Narcissist
That is what I talk about in my books. At first I thought he only wanted to protect me by telling me; don’t trust anyone else but only me, and be careful who you open up to. So, did it mean he had the best interest at heart or that he actually liked me? No, because when I came to the realisation, I needed to give it some thoughts as to what I had to do next.
Can you imagine how it’s like to live with a covert narcissist? The narcissist taps into the target’s senses, in a way few others can. And no doubt, he was very good at keeping up what I imagined about him. He would do anything for anyone at any time, and I tried to make sense of what happened. At no cost, he pretended the best ever. And moreover, he wanted to do good for everyone––except for me after he first had me in his fiddling cobweb. Mostly he wanted to show everyone how wonderful he was. In reality he was actually vindictive and pretty nasty.
He was feeling me out.
I sensed how much he liked me. Next he was wondering what I was thinking of him. The man was feeling me out. Quickly, he was doing the many questions things, trying to feel me out. And I was the biggest and worst blabbermouth of them all, telling too much about myself. Then he was there for me 24/7, and next, I idealised him, believing he almost was like God. I felt he was my soulmate, my life, the love I’d searched for my entire life. But was he?
Was it the right thing for me to do when I entered a whole new world, with him included? Later, when I stumbled across the terms Narcissism, though I did not know that this world had already existed all along in my relationship with him. Narcissist exist! And they are plenty of them. That’s a fact we can’t deny, even we might not know, the one we love is a horrifying narcissist.
Obsessed, trust and hope
The worst thing I did, was getting so obsessed with him, and it was a massive mistake in my life. I know, looking back, is not helping. Instead I learned, that I shall never get obsessed with a new love again. I shall not trust in their many lies, and don’t take the full blame for anything. He blamed me for everything and tried to break me into shattering tiny pieces, emotionally, and mentally.
He made me feel like I was the reason why our relationship had fallen apart. That’s when all his smear campaigns in full swing began. And then he gathered his many flying monkeys. Wow, it was in numbers that made me feel like I was the problem.
I just wanted to live in peace. And love again without feeling the need to keep listening and reading about those things that would keep hurting, angering and pain me constantly. The flying monkeys behaved like the worst bloodsucking vampires in the world along with the narcissist I mostly wanted to get rid of.
I had to focus on the understanding of how the narcissist worked to help me with my healing. My goal was not to believe in the lies. Neither getting caught up trying to defend myself from the smear campaign. In the beginning I defended myself because I felt so worthless, broken, and bitter.
You can listen to the Interview with Author M. L. Stark and enjoy Bournemouth’s colourful Beach Huts.