It Is All Because Of You!

Why Does Narcissists Always Play Victims?Honestly, being in a relationship with a narcissist is challenging. They always try to manipulate you and your opinion. They ensure that only they will get attention—and that no one questions them for their sins and evil deeds. It is all because of you!

Sometimes people

don’t want to hear

the truth

because they don’t want

their illusions destroyed.

—Friedrich Nietzsche
Based on her own experiences while living with a psychopath.
Based on her own experiences

According to M. L. Stark, the author of Burning Desire and Burning Desire Fades and a woman who has experienced narcissistic abuse, experienced how narcissists have two faces—one they wear in public and the one they wear at home. She further states that they don’t want anyone except themselves and always try to play the victim card. They don’t wish to be loved, just admired. They hide everything, lie about everything, and never respect their partners, no matter how much they pretend to love or value them. It is all because of you! You are the problem, the narc belives. Everything is about total control over what they desire from their prey.

But why are they always like that? Why do they always play the sufferer—when they are the main culprits hiding behind the fake curtains of wisdom and goodness?

Let’s break this apart:

Reasons Why Narcissist Play The Victim Card

Defense Mechanism

We all have defense mechanisms that we use in certain situations, but we are also aware of them. We use them to shield ourselves from unpleasant memories or stressful situations.

However, in the case of narcissists, it is not the same. They may use defense mechanisms to protect themselves, but they may also have false beliefs about themselves and rely on grandiose behavior as a defense mechanism.

They frequently portray themselves as the victim, since it is all because of you! And they rely on you to approach them for things that you have not done to protect themselves from the blame.

A Desire For Power

Narcissists always seek to control or gain power, and they may use the victim card to accomplish this. When a narcissist plays the faultiness, they are using manipulation to protect themselves and gain control over a situation in which they believe they are losing.

This could also indicate the presence of dark empaths, as they are unable to realize and understand the feelings and sentiments of others.

A Sense of Righteousness

Because of their strong sense of entitlement, narcissists think they are deserving of special treatment and attention.

And especially when things don’t go their way, they more profoundly react negatively and vent their rage on others, claiming to be victims of unfair treatment. Just as a criminal does to prove them safe from the crime.

A desire for power. Muscles and fist overpower the thunder and lightning.

Narcissistic Fury

It’s not me, it’s you …
An inside into narcissistic personality disorder

Narcissists are unable to accept criticism or rejection, and as a result, they react with rage and anger. This narcissistic rage is real and can be devastating for their prey.

Another thing to consider is that even when a narcissist is not acting as a victim, they may act like one to regain control and take the situation back into their own hands. This indicates that they are brilliant actors and, often mousetraps the victim and others into believing the narcissist is innocent.

Narcissistic FuryLack Of Empathy

The lack of empathy, since it is all because of you, is generally a factor that causes narcissists to play the “victim card,” as they commonly use this to manipulate the victim. They repeatedly express regret and apologise for what they have done, but this does not mean or define their true intent. Deep inside, they are the same—atrocious and arrogant people pretending to be devoted to you. Therefore, if you are hurt by a narcissist’s actions, they wouldn’t understand or sympathize with you, since it is all because of you. Maintaining your ties with them is a waste of your time. It is about time for you to realize your worth and move on before it is too late.

It is no surprise that being in a toxic relationship it’s a living nightmare. No matter how hard you try, a narcissist will not grasp it and love you in return. Therefore, it’s recommendable to leave the toxic relationship instead of fighting an adverse relationship. Remember, this is all about you and not about the narc. And the narc’s behaviour is NOT all because of you, but him.

However, if you are still perplexed about the matter, you can read more chilling experiences in Burning Desire and Burning Desire Fades: The Psychopath and The Girl in Black Prada Shoes.

For more information and insights regarding narcissism you are welcome to visit

Pink fleur-de-lis logo with best regards

Author: M. L. Stark

My name is M. L. Stark, and I wrote the “Burning Desire - The Psychopath and the Girl in Black Prada Shoes” series based on experiences from my personal life. BURNING DESIRE, and BURNING DESIRE FADES knowing I’ve achieved the impossible; to write books about being a victim who survived the cruelty of abuse. Ending with one of Bob Marley’s quote: “The biggest coward is a man who awakens a woman’s love without the intention of loving her.” You can follow me on Facebook or Twitter.

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