“I don’t think people realize how much strength it takes to pull your own self out of a dark place mentally. If you did that today, or any day, I’m proud of you.” –unknown
It was never so easy for me to write this blog–but somehow, I am writing this for myself and you–to remember that you can pull yourself out of a dark place, even when you think you can’t.
Despite being a mother, a granny too, successful author of two excellent life-changing books Burning Desire trilogy: The Psychopath and the Girl in Black Prada Shoes, memories of my past still haunt me when I think about the complex and toxic time.
I know it’s difficult to believe in times like these, but you are not alone. Even if it feels that way right now–you will get through it. Let me share with you a few things that have helped me improve my mental health and overcome my depression during that unfortunate phase of life.
Ways to Pull Yourself Out of a Dark Place
Remember to move on: It can happen at times when everything seems a bit daunting, it feels like you have nothing, and it is not going to end. However, you need to learn to go forward. There are several things you can do to keep going; try practicing the below ways to
progressing with your life:
- Follow your hobby; there has to be a thing you love or like, and doing that can make you happy. Dig deep into your body and mind and discover that passion or habit. Maybe you like hitting the gym, going on a pleasant walk, or even cooking; just do what you love to enhance your mood.
- Read something; reading a good book like Burning Desire and Burning Desire Fades will help you focus on other things and probably tell you specific ways to deal with trauma.
- Connect to your religion, maybe it’s God, Jesus, Buddha, Virgin Mary, etc.; there is no better way to calm yourself than turning to spiritual advisers like Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism, Islam, Judaism, or the one you prefer. Pray with your heart and soul, and ask for forgiveness and help–you will undoubtedly feel much better.
Remember to rest: It might sound a little derogatory to tell you to relax after encouraging you to move on, but your body needs both physical and mental stability. Therefore, give yourself time and focus on yourself without using your phone or television. Our bodies need periods of complete inactivity–away from distractions, to rest and think of a better way to handle the chaos.
Get up and go: Several studies have proved excess screen time to be a significant cause of mental problems like anxiety or depression. And I am not talking about the quality time you spend talking to a friend or your loved ones. I am emphasising useless scrolling, streaming, and gaming. However, you can still stop yourself from doing so by exploring nature and the outside. You can do many quality things when out, like playing a game of football in a neighbourhood park or walking down the street. Choosing a vacation spot, but I can recommend not to travel to places you’ve experienced together with the abuser, as it only brings back bad memories. Reading while travelling is also a good idea.
Connect to someone: One thing that can do wonders during a complex phase is a loved one, a connection, or a soulmate, however, I recommend it should not be with the abuser. Maybe your friend or sister can help you to deal with this challenging time. Talk to them and tell them what is happening to you; they probably have a solution for your problem or a generous hug to make you feel loved and full of life.
Meditate: I know it is difficult to focus on yourself when the time is not with you. Still, try to practice mindfulness methods like meditation or yoga to feel better. Mindfulness is a great way to help you think and focus on other positive things. You can try practising meditation by following the below steps:
- Find a cosy and clean spot, like a corner of a room or even a balcony, or the beach.
- Place a yoga mat or a soft cloth underneath and sit comfortably in any position. But I suggest trying the lotus pose, as it will target all your body parts and mental aspects.
- Close your eyes gently and focus on yourself
- Allow your mind to be entirely free from mess or thinking
- Start inhaling slowly and take in the smell and sound of the waves if you’re on the beach
- Wait for 3 to 4 seconds
- Exhale your breath slowly
- Repeat this process several times
- And open your eyes. You can even practise addition while working. It will surely make you feel better.
While it is not easy to experience such an unfortunate or indifferent time that you might have never thought about. However, one can still allow themselves a little peace by following the above-listed tips that helped me to move on despite facing the most challenging time of my life.