He believed he was a good person.

I have often thought if he really believed he was a good person.

He was good and he was bad!

Kind, well-respected and intelligent in the shape of a Doctor Jekyll type and meddles with his darker side transforming himself into his ‘second’ nature as a Mr. Hyde type.

I am sure he knew he was a bad person as his evil alter ego didn’t repent or accepted responsibility for his crimes and ways of life. However, he believed he was a good man, a perfect match for me. And that he was fully aware of being immoral and was using people, and using me. 

I was an established woman, but my marriage was a terrible mess. Suddenly, I met this friendly man, a personality, who quickly sniffed me out as his target. He thought I possessed what was absent in him: my courage, specialness and kindness. Quickly, he found out about my wealth, and empathy, so unwittingly, I become his next victim in his dreadful game he weaves, as Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde type himself.

Intoxicating attention.

Quickly the special attention he pays me became intoxicating. So much so, that I got blinded in my psychedelic trip to heaven of his inappropriate behaviour. I did not see his suspicious actions –until it was too late, and next, I was caught in his web. To him, I was the chosen one to serve the purpose of mirroring for him of what he so desperately needed to believe of himself, but only of what he wished he had. Beneath the surface of our passionate love affair, something more sinister was lurking. Thereafter, I was dragged into his swindling, manipulation, and many scams.

As I wandered around in a daze, while sometimes I was trying to anticipate his next move, but only to be chasing my tail most of the time. Anyone who challenged him on any topic he was not interested in hearing other than his answer. This eventually told me he must know he’s a wicked person.

At first, I thought I was blessed with a dream man.

Then I saw the pain! And thereafter the suffering he caused in my lifetime which weren’t normal for me or anyone. Some of my mate’s responses promptly came to the surface when I told him what I really felt about how miserably he treated me. Mostly of how he mentally offended me! At some stage of my relationship with this crooked sloth, I knew he told me more about himself than what it told about me. Afterwards, I often got this in response when he was attacking me with his massive denial and rudeness:

My lover purposely enjoyed taunting me.

Then he mirrored what I was saying, and I could see it on his dirty smirk. He truly found it amusing until I couldn’t cope anymore. I just wanted to tell him how I felt about how he treated me, especially, when he went into his dark mood.

As sweet and loving he could be, as evil he could show his mean shadowy side when he freaked out! He would never step aside, and nothing ever reached him. Instead, he got angry at me, and smashed the ball back at my face. Then he snapped and yelled at me even more:

• You are such a psychopath!
• So ugly you are!
• Such a piece of sh*t!
• What a wicked person you are!
• No one wants you!
• Do you want to hear what I really feel?
• It is you who are a failure and crazy! Not me!
• Stop your lying sh*t!
• Stupid bitch!
• I hate you!

One thing I couldn’t pass by was his vindictiveness 

I found out how he operated when he thought I was not watching. The guy was so revengeful. He only wanted to destroy me should anything good come my way. Especially when I no longer was a financial supporting item to him. Any happiness in my life must be destroyed in any way shape or form he could find. To that end, there were no limits!

• I’ll destroy you!
• No one ever liked you!
• I’ll f*cking sue you and take everything!
• I only let you into my life of pity!

• I only f*cked you out of pity! (Well, he hardly never f*cked me, because he was incapable.)

• You are getting on my nerves! (Was that because he had to build lie after lie and it was exhausting for him!)

Money, money, money...

It was not just the Abba money he was seeking; it was also of a soul-less calculative approach to slowly criticize me and my life down to an empty shell.

I was so disappointed at him 

My lover turned into everything, he during the love-bombing phase said he would never be.

His horrific mental illness were always two steps ahead, and I as his prey were an easy target because I was just not wired like him. Being of as an empathetic and compassionated nature I had allowed him in.

Thereafter, he slowly stripped me down, and for this purpose, he was telling me everything I wanted to hear. Thereafter, I gave him the satisfaction of robbing my integrity, trust, and self-confidence. However, I used to consider myself a strong-willed woman, thus, and in retrospect, my experience with my lover sounds so weak and pathetic. My final question; was he ever real?

In the end he failed!

My boyfriend no longer had the power to control my life. Not after I started to sense the abuse, so I was not trusting his empty promises anymore. He could no more gaslighting me into believing it was all my fault. Therefore, he abandoned me after he had secured and enforced a strong bond with his new supply.

My ex-boyfriend love-bombed the fresh target into believing I was just a crazy ex-girlfriend; one he never had loved or cared about. Next, he recruited enough flying monkeys to slander about me, telling them he never knew of me. He knew now he was hurting me, and furthermore, he believed I couldn’t get back on my feet again. Besides the nincompoop also thought he could get away with it unharmed.

To begin with, I was in shock! Then he proceeded to push dagger after dagger in my already broken heart! Though, in the end, I came to my senses. Thereafter, he did everything for no none to believe me, because they already believed he was the poor victim. In other words, and in his mind––I was the one making his life horrible, and not reverse. Of course, he told the simpletons that’s why he had to dump me.

The hard way.

I have learned the hard way! Meanwhile the guy was building horrible lies about me. Next, he was deceiving others into taking his side.

At first, I felt emptied out and robbed! Eventually, I was almost broke financially, but mostly broken emotionally after my acquaintance with him. Then I was starting over and were grateful––most importantly that I could recover. At the same time, the spineless coward couldn’t stand it because my success reminded him of his grand defeat. So, he continued several years after our final brake to slander badly about me. The dude and his new victim were all over the place, and on every social medias. Consequently, I found their slander on the entire internet, Facebook, and on my website. This was specifically to smear me.

In sum, my previous lover had not broken me completely, in fact, I was healing my lost battles. Besides, I came out a lot stronger from my setbacks by regaining and take control over my life.

In short, ignoring his defamation and lies about me is the best thing I can do. Finally, I know who he truly is! And such a simple-minded person as him will never change.