This was one of my own major questions: did he love me, or did he love what he could take from me?
One of the most painful questions after a toxic relationship is this: Did they ever really love me?
When a narcissistic or manipulative person says, ‘I love you,’ those words can feel powerful, convincing, and deeply emotional. They may arrive with charm, promises, affection, and intensity. In the beginning, they can make you feel chosen, special, and seen.
But later, when the behaviour changes, the same words can become confusing.
How can someone say they love you while hurting you?
How can love exist beside control, betrayal, manipulation, or financial exploitation?
And why do those words still stay in your mind long after the relationship has caused damage?
In my own experience, this question became impossible to ignore. I often wondered whether he loved me, or whether he loved my loyalty, my trust, my belief in him, and perhaps even the resources I brought into his life.
I recently came across an interesting article from Psychology Today titled 5 Harsh Truths About Narcissistic Love, and I wanted to share it because it touches on one of the hardest questions many victims ask themselves: did they love me, or did they love what they could take from me?
For many victims, the confusion is not caused by one single cruel moment. It comes from the contrast between affection and harm. The loving words create hope, while the damaging behaviour creates pain. That contradiction can keep a person emotionally trapped for a very long time.
Perhaps that is one of the hardest truths to accept: sometimes the words ‘I love you’ do not mean safety, respect, or care. Sometimes they are part of the bond that keeps you waiting for the person you believed existed in the beginning.
Understanding the difference between genuine love and emotional manipulation is often the first step towards healing. If you would like to explore this subject further, you may also enjoy my article The Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing: When Charm Hides Manipulation, which examines how deceptive behaviour can remain hidden behind a likeable and convincing exterior.
Continue reading the full article here:
Enjoy the article.
