Greetings, and welcome to today’s Author News 4th February 2021
What made me become so attached to my new boyfriend?
Did I have attachment issues? Or was it because I had poor self-confidence and big desire for a romantic relationship?
I quickly felt my new boyfriend liked me from the first moment we meet, so with him I felt I was a likeable person with worth. I sensed my husband didn’t like me anymore, so I believed it was because I was not likeable anymore and then I got afraid of being left. When I met this new man on a hot, summery day, I got tempted with his charm and many promises of a better life.
Too quickly, I became attached to the other man because I felt I wasn’t likeable. I thought I was not worth being liked, but the other man quickly could tie his worth to me. I tied myself-image into how he would feel about me, so the fact that he liked me was a fluke. And I felt an obsessive attachment to him, liking me so that he didn’t leave me.
At first, I wanted him as a best friend. Then I became more attached to him. Thereafter, I wanted him as a life partner who would love me to the grave. Foolishly, I became desperate to make sure he truly adored me. A huge mistake because I became too attached and anxious; afraid I would lose him and my worth with him.
In between the love-madness, I thought I could be better-off with him. My mind was like a twisting tornado. Not knowing if I could become more confident if I was together with him. However, I worked on myself. I believed I was happier with who I was if I was together with him.
I was more attached to the idea of everlasting love more than the person I had attached to. Then I tried to rush things and forced myself to believe I was intensely in love with him. But was I?
It might be I was more chasing a ghost, an unachievable goal, or had the feelings that it was not real. How could I keep myself from getting too attached to this mysterious and charming man?
There were those things no one told me about of how a narcissist he really was.
- That my love of my life would be my worst enemy from day one.
- I would sleep with my worse enemy.
- That he thought the love bombing, were secretly cheating and lying.
- That in the space of a year he would shelve me, as he was already working on an extra supply behind my back.
- Some of my best friends would become my worst enemies because he would lie about them… constantly.
- When I first meet him, I would say thank you God for giving me the partner I had prayed for. Later, I would pray to go back to the day before I met him.
Within the first year, although the signs were clear, I would try to stay on to either save face or trying to make it work with a new boyfriend.
When I finally separated from him and after losing my self-esteem and my money, things got clearer to me. I had lost my friends, too many of my valuable years, and my trust in anyone. Consequently, I would hear all I should have heard before starting the relationship with this charming and dangerous magnetic man.